Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Brownish Pinkish Yellowish White

Have you ever read Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein? 
Some of his poems are delightful, some are silly, some are strange and some speak truth.  My current favorite is "Colors" because this describes my thoughts.
My skin is kind of sort of brownish
Pinkish yellowish white.
My eyes are greyish blueish green,
But I'm told they look orange in the night.
My hair is reddish blondish brown,
But it's silver when it's wet.
And all the colors I am inside
Have not been invented yet.
by Shel Silverstein               

I suppose some would read this and say "it's about tolerance and being nonracist". And that would be one way of interpreting it- I don't know exactly what the author had in mind.  

But when I read this I see someone who doesn't have life all figured out yet.  A person who sees possibilities and potential and maybe is a bit confused.  Which color should I be today?  Am I a blue?  Or am I supposed to be teal? 
As adults we're supposed to have life all figured out, right?  
We're not supposed to waver about what we think, feel, or value.  
We have opinions!  We have convictions!  We have rights!  

We are adults.

But lately I've been looking at my ideals, my plans, my 'this is how life should be' and wondering if I'm missing out on the "reddish blondish brown, silver when it's wet" adventure.  

Am I living out all that the Lord has planned for me?  
Am I living too safe?   
Am I too comfortable?            

Monday, May 3, 2010

Buffering vs. Streaming

Blogging for some people fulfills a need for expression - an outlet for frustrations, joys and sorrows.  I tend to use a personal journal for my private musings and save this venue for more general observations.
Some things are just not meant for public viewing!

However, that might explain why I am not a very consistent blogger...instead of 'streaming' my thoughts as they come I am stuck in the "buffering" mode.  Evaluating each sentence, rewriting, reviewing, critiquing each word and phrase- my type "A" first-born perfectionist self gets in the way of sharing what's in my heart.

From this point forward, this blog may be about what I'm reading
or it may have some totally random ramblings - Time will tell.
So fasten your seat belt, strap on a helmet or go get some chocolate...
It might be a crazy ride. :)